Years ago, I told you to forget,
Fast-forward to today, and my mind hasn’t yet.
You listened to me, and moved on with your life.
Now, you’re confused about what causes my strife.
Back then, my brain convinced me of a lie.
They say hindsight is crystal clear,
But not when you’re looking in a dirty rearview mirror.
The reflection has distorted how we view life now:
You’d rather drive forward, but I’d rather jump out.
You mean a lot to me, and I should’ve said sooner.
Story of my life, I’m a social late bloomer.
My mind plays tricks on me all of the time,
I didn’t realize figuring myself out was a crime.
Years are what it took for me to wrap my head around,
That the person I want, I had already found.
When the thought finally bombarded my brain,
My confusion in the past made me feel insane.
So, I shut down and closed my heart to you,
Deep down it was the last thing I wanted to do.
Because of my fears, everything changed.
After awhile, fewer words we’d exchange.
You took my silence, and interpreted it as hate:
Both of us crippled by our failure to communicate.
I want you, but you don’t want me anymore.
Exactly what I feared is what I now know for sure.
I’m sorry that I hurt you in the past,
The good news is that your pain seemingly never lasts.
For me, I am not so certain this time,
The game of sadness continues, and the turn is still mine.
I love you, and I wish it weren’t in the way that I mean.
Life would be easier if only I had foreseen.
Had I known of the feelings my heart would contain,
Life would be anything but the same.
Maybe then, we would be more than words left unsaid.
Maybe then, I would see more than years of regret.
Instead, it seems as though it is now my turn to forget.